20 Things You're Not Allowed To Do In The Arena
by Spaidel
Summary: Ahmed Adoodie and Joy Kil found a list of '20 Things You're Not Allowed To Do In The Arena'. And, of course, they decided to do everything written on that list.
1. Rule Number 1

**Rule Number 1**

* * *

Ahmed Adoodie was sad. How could he not be? He was on his way to the Hunger Games, to the arena, where he'll probably die in a horrific way.

Yep, he was sad.

He was sitting in the hovercraft, dreading the minute it will land. Because when it'll land, he will be closer to death.

The worst thing? His best friend, Joy Kil, was on her way to the arena right now. They will fight together there. They will die together there.

He shifted in his place painfully. He felt like he was sitting on something, but couldn't tell what it was. It was hard.

He decided he couldn't take it any longer, it was getting quite impossible to enjoy his first and last ride in a hovercraft because of it, and so he got up from his seat and lifted the not-comfortable-at-all cushion he was sitting on.

The thing that bothered him so much was, apparently, a piece of paper.

Yes, he could feel the piece of paper under him even with the cushion there.

He was just sensitive like that.

It was like _The Princess and the Pea, _only... not.

Anyway. He grabbed the piece of paper and sat back down in his seat. He looked at it.

On the paper was written something.

A list.

* * *

" - …Hey, Joy Kil," Ahmed Adoodie said before they walked to their separate rooms to be launched to the arena. " – look what I found!"

Joy Kil looked at the paper. "A… paper?"

"Not just any paper!" Ahmed Adoodie said proudly. "Look what's written there. Look at the title!"

Joy Kil looked at the title. "20 things you're not allowed to do in the arena."

"20 things you're not allowed to do in the arena!" Ahmed Adoodie repeated excitedly. "And guess what, Joy Kil?"

"What?" Joy Kil asked Ahmed Adoodie.

"We're going to do all of them."

"All of them?"

"ALL OF THEM."

"But… don't you think the Gamemakers will send a mutt at us for doing all the things we're not allowed to do in the arena?"

"Oh, stop being such a kill joy! Live a little! After all, we only have about… ten minutes before we die."

Joy Kil looked at him, then at the list, then back at him.

"Okay," She said finally. "Let's do it!"

* * *

10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

BOOM!

And they were off!

All of the contenders stepped off their platforms and ran. Some of them ran to the Cornucopia, some of them to the woods, and some of them just died.

And then…

_"OOOHHHH!"_ Ahmed Adoodie sang loudly.

"What the…?" One of the tributes asked, looking at the idiot tributes from District Eight.

And then Ahmed Adoodie and Joy kil started singing.

_"You must think we're crazy,_

_You must think we're strange._

_But in this horrid place,_

_There's one thing we still HAVE!"_

"They lost it," The girl from District Five murmured as one of the Careers killed her with a knife.

_" … IT'S MUSIC! OH YEAH, IT'S MUSIC!"_ Ahmed Adoodie and Joy Kil sang loudly.

"Okay, that's enough," The Career girl from District Two said and grabbed an axe, wanting to throw it at the stupid tributes.

And then they started running, changing the song in the process.

_"We're in the middle of a battle, trying to escape!_

_We're in the middle of a battle, OOH! Don't get hit by the AXE!"_

"Come on, let me kill them," The Career boy from District One said as he grabbed a mace.

He started spinning it in the air close to them as they ran, but they kept running.

_"We're running away, running away, oh!_

_Running away, running away, oh-oh!"_

"Oh, kill them already!" The Career girl from District One shouted at her District Partner.

"I'm trying!" The Career boy from District One shouted back, sounding desperate. He tried to hit them with his mace, but he couldn't. "They just… they sing so beautifully!"

_"And we're turning to the left – "_ The sang as they turned left, where the Career boy from District Four was waiting for them.

_" – And then back to the right!"_ Then sang as they turned in the opposite direction the moment the boy from District Four tried to hit them with a sword.

"Oh dear god, just let them run away!" The Career girl from District Four cried, trying to block the noises of the singing tributes with her hands. "I can't stand it anymore!"

"No!" The Career boy from District Four screamed as he ran towards the singing tributes. He stopped in front of them, his sword in hand, and smirked. He was about to hit them with the sword when…

_"Stop! In the name of love!_

_Before you break my nose!"_

"I wasn't about to break your nose…" The Career boy from District Four mumbled.

_"At first we were afraid, we were petrified,_

_Kept thinking we could never live with you by our sides…"_

The District Four boy looked at his Career friends, asking for backup.

He got none.

_"Go on now! Go walk to your friends!_

_Just turn around now,_

_'Cause you're not welcome anymore,_

_Weren't you the one who tried to hurt us with this sword,_

_Do you think we'd crumble?_

_Did you think we'd lay down and die?"_

"Well, that was my goal…" The Career boy said, embarrassed.

_"OH NO, NOT US! WE WILL SURVIVE!"_

"Oh, just let them GO!" The Career boy from District One cried, wiping a tear from his eye.

And so, the Career boy from District Four looked at the singing Ahmed Adoodie and Joy Kil, then moved away and let them go.

They ran away, singing. When they got far enough, they stopped running and smiled at each other.

"_'Sing at the Cornucopia like morons'_, check!"

* * *

**Okay, so... I'm not sure about this fic AT ALL. I think I might delete it.**

**But I do hope I made at least some of you laugh, or chuckle, or even smile.**

**So, review, and have a lovely day :)**


	2. Rule Number 2

**Rule Number 2**

* * *

Ahmed Adoodie and Joy Kil ran for three straight hours before they found a nice place in the middle of the forest. The trees and bushes that surrounded them were huge, which made them feel safe and out of reach.

When they ran and sang in the Cornucopia, Joy Kil managed to grab a small backpack, which contained a rope, a sleeping bag, matches and a bottle. No food, no water.

Thank god they found a lake near their camp. At least they won't dehydrate. That was good.

They were both hungry, and so Joy Kil found a few edible plants and she and Ahmed Adoodie started chewing them. It wasn't much, but it was enough.

As they chewed the leaves, Ahmed Adoodie took the precious list out of his pocket and he and Joy Kil read what was next on the list.

They both paled immediately.

"You do it," Ahmed Adoodie said quickly to Joy Kil.

Joy Kil shook her head immediately. "No. No way. You should do it."

"But I'm a boy!"

"My point exactly."

Ahmed Adoodie huffed loudly. "Fine. Bitch," He added quietly. She didn't hear him, thank god.

A few hours later, Ahmed Adoodie and Joy Kil sat down next to the fire they built and looked at the sky. It was dark. The night came. The anthem played, and the faces of the already-dead tributes began to appear in the sky.

Five.

Just _five_ tributes died?

Damn it.

Oh well.

They were quiet for a few more minutes, both of them looking at the fire.

Then Ahmed Adoodie opened his mouth. "I have a confession to make," He said quietly, knowing that everyone in the Capitol will be able to hear him.

"What is it?" Joy Kil asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You remember… in the interviews, you remember that Caesar asked me if I loved anyone?"

"Yes. I remember."

"You remember what my answer was?"

"You said no."

"Right. Well, that was a lie."

Ahmed Adoodie took a deep breath. "I am. In love with someone, I mean."

Joy Kil blinked. "Oh. Okay. So… why did you lie?"

"I was afraid," Ahmed Adoodie whispered, hoping that he looked convincing to the Capitol people. "I still am, actually. I don't think they'll ever return my feelings. No, I _know_ they won't. But I can't take it anymore… I just love them so much. It consumes me. I think about this person at night. I masturbate to this person's picture. I- I think I'm in love with them."

"Did you ever tell them how you feel about them?"

"No. I don't think they even knew who I was before I was selected to compete in The Hunger Games."

Joy Kil ran a hand through her hair. "Who is it? Who are you in love with?"

Ahmed Adoodie took another deep breath, embracing himself for what he was about to say next.

_"President Snow."_

* * *

President Snow blinked hard as Ahmed Adoodie's confession sank in.

Wow. Didn't see _that_ coming.

He suddenly felt very uncomfortable. After all, he just heard someone say that he was in love with him – _him!_ – while he was taking a bath.

A rose-scented bath.

Hmmmm.

His bathroom's door suddenly opened and three of the Gamemakers stepped into the room.

President Snow didn't mind that at all. He was only 93, after all. He was in the best shape of his life. Nothing like the scrawny little boy he was when he was 57 years old.

The Gamemakers looked at him, then at the roses in his bath, then at the TV screen just in front of him. They could still see Ahmed Adoodie and Joy Kil there, discussing Ahmed Adoodie's eternal love for President Snow.

"So, I guess you saw it," One of the Gamemakers said.

"Yes. Yes, I did," President Snow replied.

"Do you want us to kill him?" The Gamemaker with the blue hair asked.

President Snow raised his eyebrows in surprise. "No, of course not!"

The three Gamemakers looked at him in shock.

"What? It's flattering," President Snow explained patiently. "The boy has nice taste. In fact," President Snow said, an idea forming in this brilliant mind of his, "I want you to send him something. Just a little gift from me."

* * *

Back in the Arena, Ahmed Adoodie and Joy Kil finally grew silent after talking for an hour about what President Snow might like to wear to bed (The answer they came up with was pink speedo).

Ahmed Adoodie was very nervous. He was sure that in any moment mutts that were sent to him by President Snow himself will jump out from behind the big bushes and trees and eat him and Joy Kil because of what he said.

But it didn't happen. Instead of mutts, something else was sent to him.

"Look! A parachute!" Joy Kil said lowly and pointed at the parachute that made its way to where they were sitting.

Ahmed Adoodie looked at it, surprised, then grabbed it when it got close enough to where he was sitting.

He detached the small fabric from the parachute and unfolded it.

In the small soft fabric rested a picture.

Joy Kil moved to sit closer to him and they both curiously looked at the picture.

"Fuck!"

"Oh, the horror!"

"What should I do with it?"

"Burn it! Burn it NOW!"

And so, Ahmed Adoodie did as Joy Kil instructed him to and threw the picture of a naked President Snow into the fire.

He and Joy Kil breathed deeply, horrified by what they just saw.

Ahmed Adoodie then shuddered. "Why couldn't he just send us mutts instead?"

Joy Kil shook her head and took the list that was up until now on the ground right next to her.

"'_Confess your hidden feelings for President Snow'_, check," She murmured quietly, drawing a small V with mud next to the second rule.

* * *

**Okay, the response to this story was awesome, so of course I had to write more!**

**Seriously, I love you all so much. I really do. *heart***

**I don't actually know what the other things on the list will be... I didn't think about it too much.**

**Oops.**

**Don't worry, I'll think of some other stupid things not to do in the arena. There has to be quite a lot.**

**Hope you all have a lovely day, and please review! It makes me feel better, which means it makes you feel better, because you know your review made me feel better. So, to sum it up, reviews make all of us feel better.**

**Which means, you really should review. You know, to feel better.**


	3. Rules Number 3 and 4

**Rules Number 3 and 4**

* * *

The second day in the arena came by quickly and Joy Kil and Ahmed Adoodie decided to stay in their place. It was a nice place, in the middle of the forest, hidden by the big trees and bushes.

But, apparently, they weren't the only ones realizing how good of a place it was.

Joy Kil was searching for edible plants as she heard a quiet _'snap!'_ coming from behind her.

She froze in her place, cursing in her mind. She didn't have any weapon. She couldn't protect herself. Ahmed wasn't near, and he didn't have any weapon either.

So she kneeled to the ground slowly and grabbed a few big rocks, then got back to her feet.

She turned around slowly and looked to see if there was anyone there.

She didn't see anyone.

Still, she decided it was better to be safe than sorry, and threw all of the rocks at the same time.

The rocks all flew in different directions, and Joy Kil was rather surprised when she heard a quiet 'Ouch!' followed by a loud thump.

She hesitantly walked closer to the tribute she hit, then sighed in relief when she saw he was unconscious.

Thank god for big rocks.

She didn't know which District he was from, she didn't really remember him too well, but it seemed like he was fourteen years old and weak.

Joy Kil hesitated once again, then grabbed one of the boy's arms and dragged him behind her.

* * *

"Hey, Ahmed! Look what I've found."

Ahmed Adoodie turned to look at Joy Kil as she got closer and closer to where he was sitting, dragging something behind her.

It seemed like… a person.

"Is he dead?" Ahmed asked as Joy Kil and the unconscious tribute got to where he was. He stood up.

"No, he's breathing," Joy Kil said. "I threw a rock at him."

"You threw a rock at him?"

"Well, several."

Ahmed shook his head with a smile. Then he became serious once again. "What should we do with him?"

"Do you think we should kill him?" Joy Kil asked hesitantly. She wasn't too keen on killing people.

Ahmed shook his head. "Nah, let's just… tie him up to a tree. Make him our prisoner." Ahmed then smiled. "Ha. He would think we're both idiots when we'll break the next two rules…"

* * *

Harry Butt woke up later that day, his head hurts as if a rock hit him.

Oh, wait…

He blinked and looked at where he was. A nice place with tall trees surrounding it in a circle-like shape.

How did he get there?

And why was he tied up to a tree?

Oh, darn it.

He was SO dead.

But where was the person who caught him?

He waited for a few long minutes before someone finally showed up. Two someones, actually.

They were the tributes that sang in the Cornucopia. The idiots.

They looked at him with strange expressions.

The boy, Ahmed if Harry remembered correctly, approached him as the girl - Joy? Yes, Joy – grabbed a big rock that was on the ground.

Remembering what happened the last time she held a rock in her hand, Harry Butt gulped loudly.

"Oh, don't be scared!" Ahmed Adoodie said with a smile and moved closer to him. "We're not going to kill you."

Harry Butt was surprised by that. "You – you're not?"

"No, of course not! You're our guest! We don't kill guests," Ahmed explained patiently.

Oh… okay…?

"So… what are you going to do with me?" Harry Butt asked, bitting his lower lip.

Ahmed didn't answer him and turned to look at his friend, Joy Kil. Joy Kil was pressing her index finger on the big rock in her hand again and again, then held the rock to her ear.

"What is she…?" Harry Butt started saying, but Ahmed shut him up.

"Don't bother her when she's on the rock!" He whispered to Harry, still looking at Joy Kil.

Harry Butt looked at Joy Kil in surprise as she started talking. "Oh, hi mom! No, I'm okay, everything's great. Yes, I drink enough. No, mom, I'm not dead yet. Yes, Ahmed is right here next to me, do you want to…? Oh, mom, stop it! No, stop calling him that, it's not his fault!"

"Did she call me a crappy dude once again?" Ahmed asked, looking annoyed. "Give me the rock."

"Ahmed…"

"Give me the damn rock!"

Joy Kil handed Ahmed Adoodie the rock.

Ahmed held it next to his ear.

"Listen, Joy Kil's mom, you can't keep calling me…! No, stop saying that! I – well, and you're a bitch!"

"Ahmed!" Joy Kil said loudly and grabbed the rock, then held it to her ear. "Mom, I'm sorry, Ahmed didn't mean it… no, you're not a bitch, I swear! Mom, he's just a bit angry because we didn't eat much… no, but we're fine. Really, mom. Look, I even made a new friend! His name is…" She turned to look at the stunned Harry Butt. "What's your name?"

It took Harry Butt a while to find his voice again. "…Harry Butt," He said finally, his voice quiet from shock and fear.

"Yeah, his name is Harry Butt… I know, what a name! Ha! No, but he's my new friend… oh. Yeah, okay. No problem."

Joy Kil handed the rock to Harry Butt. "My mom wants to talk to you."

Joy Kil got closer and held the rock to Harry's ear.

Harry Butt looked at Joy Kil, then at Ahmed Adoodie, then back at Joy Kil.

"Come on. Talk to her!" Joy Kil urged him.

Harry Butt looked at her with widened eyes. "…what?"

"My mom wants to talk to you! Come on!"

"But… it's a rock."

"I know. Come on, talk!"

"You can't talk with someone using a rock."

"Oh, don't be a fool, of course you can." Joy Kil started to get impatient as Harry Butt didn't open his mouth to talk to the rock and held the rock next to her ear now. "Yeah, mom… no, he's just shy, is all. Nothing personal… Ah? WHAT! Mom, he's my new friend, don't talk about him like that! Oh, stop cursing him… you know what? Go fuck a duck!"

And with that, Joy Kil threw the rock away, breathing harsher than usual.

"I'm sorry about that, Harry, but my mom… well, she's a difficult woman to love," Joy Kil said apologetically. "Don't take it personally. She curses everyone."

"Yes. Yes she does," Ahmed Adoodie nodded his head in agreement.

And Harry Butt just looked at the two teenagers, thinking that they both lost it completely.

* * *

Later that day, as Joy Kil and Ahmed Adoodie left Harry Butt to fill their bottle with some water from the pond, Joy Kil took the list from her pocket.

"_'Talk to a rock like you're talking on the phone'_, check," She murmured and drew a small V next to it with mud. "And, _'Then throw the rock away and claim the person you talked to was being rude'_, check."

* * *

**Two rules in one chapter! Yay!**

**Reviews are good. Reviews make me happy. Reviews are very much appreciated.**

**Remember that. Just... remember how great reviews are.**

**And while you're busy at remembering that, please review! And remember - reviews are good.**

**Hope you all have a lovely day :)**


	4. Rule Number 5

**Rule Number 5**

* * *

Harry Butt woke up at sunrise, still tied up to that awful tree. He sighed and closed his eyes. It was really uncomfortable to sleep like that. But he couldn't get free. He tried, but the rope was too strong.

And wasn't it just his luck, to get stuck here with the two craziest, most idiotic tributes in this arena?

Where are the Careers when you need them?

After the rock incident from yesterday, all he wanted to do was run away from those awful tributes. To be honest, he was scared of them.

Thank God they were still sleeping.

"Hey, Joy Kil, wake up!"

Oh, duck that.

Harry Butt opened one eye to see Ahmed Adoodie smiling a big, unnerving smile at him.

Harry Butt closed his eye again immediately.

Ahmed Adoodie turned his back to Harry Butt and walked towards Joy Kil. She was still fast asleep.

He shook her lightly until she woke up. "Time to do the next thing on the list," He whispered, his voice barely audible.

Joy Kil nodded her head and moved into a sitting position, getting some leaves out of her hair in the process.

Ahmed turned to look at the tied up Harry Butt. Poor thing. It must be really uncomfortable to sleep that way.

Oh well.

Joy Kil took the list out of her pocket and she and Ahmed read the next thing on the list.

Joy Kil smiled. "Ooh, that's going to be fun."

* * *

Later that day, Ahmed Adoodie went to gather some trees for their fire.

Joy Kil turned to the tied up Harry Butt, whose eyes were open now, and smiled pleasantly at him.

He gulped loudly.

"So… how do you feel?" Joy Kil asked, starting a conversation.

"A bit stiff," Harry Butt answered honestly. "Why won't you let me go?"

Joy Kil opened her mouth, her lower lip trembling.

"What, you… you don't like us?" It seemed like she was on the verge of tears.

Harry Butt's eyes widened. "You tied me to a tree!" He said pretty loudly. "I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm thirsty, and you wouldn't believe the amount of pee I accumulated in those last few hours."

Joy Kil shifted uncomfortably in her place. "We gave you a shell. You could've pee in it…"

"It's barely ideal," Harry Butt said stiffly.

"So, what you're saying is, we don't treat you well?"

Harry Butt was quiet for a few minutes. "Well, you see, I'm sure you're trying your best, but… no, not really."

Before Joy Kil could say anything else, Ahmed returned with a few big dry woods.

He threw them all on the ground and ran to Joy Kil excitedly. "Look what I've got! Look at it, look at it, look at it!"

Joy Kil looked at whatever it was that Ahmed was holding in his hand and inhaled sharply. "Is that…?"

"It is."

"I can't believe it."

"Neither can I. Can you believe I just found it, lying on the ground like that?"

Harry Butt's curiosity grew by the amount of excitement in Ahmed and Joy's voices. He tried to look at what Ahmed was holding, and realized it was a…

"Stick?" He asked, not understanding what was so special about a stick.

Ahmed and Joy turned to look at him. "Not just any stick," Ahmed said seriously and importantly, "It's a wand. A magic wand. Harry Potter's magic wand."

Harry Potter?

Who the hell was Harry Potter?

Well, Harry Butt liked Harry Potter's first name. Special.

"What do you mean, a magic wand?" He asked, confused.

"You use it to perform spells, obviously, you silly boy!" Joy Kil said like it was obvious.

Okay…?

Harry Butt decided not to say anything else, he knew he'd regret it after all, and just watched as Joy Kil grabbed an apple that was on the ground.

Ahmed Adoodie looked excited and held his "magical wand" (heehee) higher.

"Want to see what I can do with my magical wand?" He asked Joy Kil excitedly.

Heehee.

Joy Kil nodded her head eagerly.

Ahmed Adoodie waved his wand. "Accio apple!" He said loudly.

Nothing happened at first, but then… Joy Kil threw the apple at Ahmed, who caught it and smiled proudly.

Joy Kil looked impressed. "Very good, Ahmed! And on your first try, I'm impressed!"

Ahmed Adoodie smiled widely. "My magical wand proves to work perfectly!"

Heehee.

"Perform another spell! One more!" Joy Kil requested eagerly.

Ahmed Adoodie waved his wand in a complicated way. "Jelly legs jinx!"

Joy Kil fell to the ground, her legs wobbling. "Wow, my legs turned to jello!" She announced.

Ahmed Adoodie nodded his head proudly, then waved his wand again. "Un-jellify!"

Joy Kil's legs stopped shaking, and Ahmed Adoodie helped her stand up.

"That is amazing," Joy Kil said in awe.

Harry Butt couldn't take it anymore. "That is so fake!"

Ahmed Adoodie and Joy Kil turned to look at Harry Butt slowly. "What did you say?" Joy Kil asked quietly.

"I said that this is all so fake," Harry Butt said bravely. "It's so obvious that it's just a simple stick and you just try to make it look like something more. It's so fake."

"Do you really question the abilities of my magical wand?" Ahmed Adoodie asked, angry.

Heehee.

"Yes. Yes I do." Maybe now they'd finally kill him. Everything was better than this.

Ahmed looked furious as he and Joy Kil both moved to stand very close to Harry Butt. "Okay, you asked for it," Ahmed Adoodie said coldly as he waved his stick in front of Harry Butt.

"Crucio!"

*Punch!*

"Ouch!" Harry complained as he looked at Joy Kil, who just a second ago punched him in the face. "You just punched me!"

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't. It was the Crucio curse, obviously."

Harry Butt had had enough. "Would you stop with the curses and spells? There's no such thing as –"

"Crucio!"

*Kick!*

"Ugh, duck! Stop kicking me!"

"Stop being silly, Harry Butt. It was the curse once again."

"It wasn't the ducking curse, it was your ducking –"

"Crucio!"

*Punch!*

"Okay, fine, fine!" Harry Butt finally said, deciding to just give up. "You were right. Your… stick, has magical abilities."

Ahmed Adoodie looked at him with a concentrated look. "You believe me when I say that my wand is a long, magical piece of wood?"

Heehee.

Harry Butt nodded his head. Seriously, he preferred to die than stay here with those two teenagers.

Ahmed Adoodie then smiled. "Good. Now, want to see my magical wand in action?"

Heehee.

* * *

A few hours later, as Harry Butt drifted off to sleep, Joy Kil took the list out of her pocket.

"_'Pretend like you found a magic wand and act like you're spelling things with it,'_ check," She said quietly as she drew a small V next to the fifth rule.

Five rules done, fifteen more to go!

* * *

**So many penis jokes in one chapter... God, I'm so immature.**

**So, after the 80+ notifications I received in my email after posting the last chapter (seriously, 80 notifications!), I knew that I just have to update this story quickly.**

**See? The more reviews I get, the more eager I am to continue the story.**

**Reviews = Eagerness.**

**Reviews = Quicker updates.**

**Just something to think about :)**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and have a lovely day! :)**


	5. Rule Number 6

**Rule Number 6**

* * *

Joy Kil looked at the list the moment she woke up to see what she and Ahmed will do today.

She raised her eyebrows as she read the three words.

"Okay…" She murmured to herself as she shook Ahmed to wake him up.

It took Ahmed two whole minutes before he woke up, man he was a heavy sleeper, and he looked at Joy Kil in question. "What?" He asked.

She handed him the list without saying a word.

He narrowed his eyes when he read the sixth rule, then turned to look at Joy Kil. "Well… let's do it."

"It's freaky," Joy Kil said.

"Oh, come on. Everyone does it!"

"Are you kidding?"

"Fine, not everyone, but there are at least a few people who did it before… it's a known thing, after all."

"Still, it's freaky."

"come on, Joy Kil, we said we're going to do everything on that list, and that's on the list! Plus, it's not _that_ freaky…"

Joy Kil looked at the list again. "Fine, we'll do it… but if the sky turns suddenly dark and bunnies will attack us, then I blame you."

"I didn't write that list," Ahmed Adoodie protested.

"You're the only one here I have to blame," Joy Kil said with a shrug. "Do you know what we need to do?"

Ahmed shrugged. "Have no clue. Maybe we'll write on the ground… take that shell Harry Butt pees in… We can cover ourselves with flowers and leaves…"

"Jesus," Joy Kil murmured.

"I suggest you leave Jesus out of our plane. I doubt he'd look good with flowers and leaves on him."

Joy Kil rolled her eyes.

* * *

Harry Butt woke up to the sound of…

Well, he wasn't entirely sure.

He opened his eyes hesitantly.

Ahmed Adoodie was making noises. He was half-singing half-squealing, and he was covered in mud and flowers and leaves.

Harry Butt's eyes widened. What the…?

And then Joy Kil appeared, walking from behind a big bush, covered in mud and leaves and flowers.

Harry Butt really wished he could run away.

They seriously freaked him out.

They didn't look at him. Joy Kil sat down next to the squealing Ahmed Adoodie and grabbed the "magic wand" they found one day ago.

As Ahmed kept squealing loudly, Joy Kil used the "magic wand" to draw something on the ground. Letters.

After she finished writing all the letter, she got to her feet and walked to grab the pee-shell next to Harry Butt.

She sat down again next to Ahmed and he shut up. Joy Kil put the shell on the ground, in the middle of all the letters, and touched it with her fingertip. Ahmed did the same.

Harry raised an eyebrow.

Oh, he knew what they were about to do.

The ducking idiots.

Ahmed and Joy breathed deeply for a few seconds, then Joy Kil opened her mouth to speak. "Oh, great spirits of the dead tributes, please, show us you're here! Show us you can hear us! Just give us a sign!"

Nothing happened for a few seconds, but then the shell started moving towards the letter S.

Ahmed said the letters out loud.

"S…U…P… D…U…D…E…S…" Ahmed blinked. "'Sup dudes," He repeated out loud.

"Are you okay? Are you feeling alright up there?" Joy Kil asked, loud and clear.

The shell moved again, and again, Ahmed repeated all of the letters.

"I'm… cool… everything's… awesome… up… there… you… lovely… dawgs…"

Lovely dawgs?

"How did you die?" Joy Kil asked.

The shell moved again.

"Pan… cakes…"

"What?" Joy Kil asked.

"Lots… of… pancakes… falling… on… me…"

There was a long silence.

"Oh, you dead tribute…" Joy Kil finally said, on the verge of tears. "I am so, _so_ sorry. You shouldn't have died that way, it's just… oh, how cruel!"

"Pancakes… can… be… painful… babe…"

Harry Butt rolled his eyes. "Death by pancakes?" He snorted.

Joy Kil and Ahmed Adoodie turned to look at Harry Butt with angry looks. "Don't mock the dead!" Joy Kil said coldly.

"But there's nothing here!" Duck, this was ridiculous. "Just… you need to stop doing all the things you do. It's – you just need to stop."

"Come on, Harry Butt, you just don't believe in what we say or do because you don't want to believe," Ahmed said.

"Anything is possible if you just believe!" Joy Kil announced.

"But there are no spirits of dead tributes in here that were killed by pancakes!" Harry Butt said loudly.

There was a loud crack.

A bush nearby started to move.

Joy Kil bit her lower lip. "What was that?"

Ahmed looked at Harry, angry. "Great, now you annoyed the dead!"

Harry Butt looked at the moving bush and felt his hands shaking. Maybe Ahmed and Joy were right…?

And then, a few agonizingly long seconds later, something jumped out of the bush.

A bunny.

Harry Butt exhaled the breath he didn't realize he was holding, then turned to look at Ahmed and Joy.

They blinked at the bunny.

"Is that you, dead pancake-victim tribute?" Joy Kil asked, looking at the bunny with wide eyes.

The shell didn't move this time.

"I think he's gone," Ahmed Adoodie whispered.

Joy Kil turned to look at Ahmed, a tear running down her face. "Think we'll ever see him again?"

Ahmed Adoodie put a soothing hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her. "I'm sure we will. I'm sure we will."

Harry Butt snorted silently.

Those two ducking morons.

* * *

Later that day, Joy Kil took the list out of her pocket.

"_'Perform a Séance'_," check," She said and drew a V next to the sixth rule.

* * *

**You guys are amazing. You really are.**

**BTW, I decided that this is the 111th Hunger Games, because it's a cool number. Really, I have something with numbers. When I see that the hour is 11:11 or 22:22 or even just 17:17, I feel happy.**

**I really have no idea why, but this is one of the things that makes me happy.**

**It's really not that hard to make me happy, as you can see.**

**Reviews make me happy.**

**Hope you all have a lovely day! :)**


	6. Rule Number 7

**Rule Number 7**

* * *

When the sky turned dark Joy Kil and Ahmed Adoodie built a nice, warm fire. Harry Butt, who was still tied to a tree nearby, was feeling bored, but oh well. At least he was warm and cozy.

Joy and Ahmed didn't know when or if they'll let Harry go, but so far they enjoyed him here. He hated them. It was entertaining.

The anthem played and they looked at the sky. So far, ten tributes died. Today there were three more booms, which meant there were eleven tributes still alive.

Ahmed, Joy and Harry looked at the sky silently. The girl from Three, the girl from Six and the boy from Twelve.

Oh well.

Joy Kil looked at the precious list after the anthem played again, then raised both her eyebrows.

"Ahmed," She whispered and pointed her finger at the list.

Ahmed read the next thing, then smiled. "All right!"

Joy Kil rolled her eyes. "Ahmed…"

* * *

Harry Butt was sleeping peacefully – well, not peacefully, he was stuck to a painful tree after all – until voices, loud, annoying noises, woke him up.

He looked around him tiredly, trying to identify the source of the noise, then froze. Those noises… they reminded him of something… unpleasant.

Bad.

Something really bad was happening in this wood.

"Oh, Ahmed, don't stop!"

"Yeah, you like that sweetie?"

"Harder! Harder!"

Terrified, Harry Butt tried to block the noises by humming loudly, but the voices Ahmed and Joy Kil made – those moans, oh, those awful moans! – were too loud to ignore.

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot Ahmed, right there!"

Yuck.

* * *

_At the same time, inside of a bush:_

"Oh, yeah! Oh yeah!"

"A bit louder, Joy Kil," Ahmed whispered to Joy Kil, who was sitting on the ground next to him, her legs crossed.

"OH, YEAH!"

"Better."

Joy Kil rolled her eyes and shifted in her place, closing her eyes. She was tired, it was late.

"We haven't moaned in a while, you think we should…?"

They moaned loudly, shaking some of the leaves on the bush for an effect.

"Say something about my penis," Ahmed instructed.

Joy Kil raised an eyebrow. "I'm not saying anything about your penis."

"Come on, Joy!"

Joy Kil rolled her eyes. "Fine."

She cleared her throat and said loudly, "Oh, Ahmed, your little soldier may be small and not-at-all glorious, but it sure gets stiff and at attention when it's instructed to!"

*punch!*

"Ouch!" Joy Kil cried, looking at Ahmed who punched her a second ago.

"Yeah, you like that sweetie?" Ahmed said loudly, raising an eyebrow.

Joy Kil frowned. "Come on, let's finish it."

"Okay," Ahmed nodded his head, agreeing. "On the count of three. One… Two… Three…"

And with that, they both moaned as loudly as they could, feeling stupid.

When they finished, they stayed still for a long while.

Then Joy Kil turned to Ahmed Adoodie and smiled.

"Well, Ahmed," She whispered. "We'll continue that tomorrow."

* * *

Harry Butt couldn't sleep at all that night. He was horrified beyond belief. It was horrible.

Joy Kil and Ahmed Adoodie walked around the next day like nothing happened, and Harry Butt couldn't look at them for too long without feeling embarrassed.

Oh, why was he stuck here with them?

As the day progressed, Joy Kil started to look more and more uncomfortable. She bit her lower lip, looked at Ahmed Adoodie worryingly, and it seemed like it was hard for her to walk around or sit down.

At the end, she told Ahmed she's going to get some more water, and when she returned she didn't instantly walked to Ahmed. She stayed behind a big bush, looking uncertain.

"Ahmed?" She said finally, sounding worried.

Ahmed Adoodie turned to look at her and smiled. "What is it, Joy Kil?"

She bit her lower lip. "I have something to tell you."

"Then tell me."

She took a deep breath and walked out of her place behind the bush.

Her belly was huge and round, and she held it with her hand.

"I'm pregnant," She said finally.

Ahmed looked at her, not believing what he was seeing. "You're… you're pregnant?"

She nodded her head. "That's probably because of all the sex last night," She said simply.

Harry Butt shuddered at the thought.

Ahmed walked to the pregnant Joy Kil slowly, staring at her belly. "And… and it's mine?"

She nodded her head, smiling. "It's yours."

Harry Butt knew that perhaps he should say something about how it's not possible to get that pregnant after a day, but he decided against it, because he was tired and didn't have the power to fight them.

He decided to just see the outcome of it all.

Ahmed Adoodie got to her and looked at her eyes, smiling too. "Our baby," He said simply and put his hand on her belly.

And that was all it took for the watermelon under her shirt to fall to the ground.

Ahmed looked at the watermelon on the ground, then at Joy Kil, looking shocked and angry.

"Why? Oh, why did you do it to me?" He asked, sounding betrayed.

"I'm sorry!" Joy Kil said pleadingly. "That was the only way to convince you to stay with me."

"That… that wasn't the only way," Ahmed said.

"Ahmed, please, forgive me, please!"

He breathed deeply. "All right. I forgive you. But in one condition."

"And what is that?" Joy Kil asked, looking relieved.

"We have hot, hot sex all night."

"NOO!" Harry Butt couldn't help himself.

"Harry Butt, please stop screaming random, insignificant things. Jeez."

Joy Kil nodded her head at Ahmed. "Deal."

Ahmed smiled. "All right then… shall we?"

"We shall." And so they walked into the bush, to Harry Butt's great horror.

* * *

Later that day, as Ahmed Adoodie shook the leaves in the bush and moaned loudly, Joy Kil got the list out of her pocket.

"_'Pretend that you're pregnant'_, check," She said and drew a V next to the seventh rule.

* * *

**Yeah, hmm... so that was rule number seven.**

**I actually took the idea of the watermelon under the shirt from Ugly Betty. Betty's father watched this incredibly stupid and extremely funny soap opera, which really just laughed at the whole idea of soap operas, and there was this woman there, and when the man touched her belly and said happily, 'our baby', a soccer ball fell from under her shirt to the ground.**

**I laughed for ages.**

**So, we're close to 200 reviews! Let's try to pass 200, shall we?**

**I think we shall.**

**So, review, hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and have a lovely day :)**


	7. Rule Number 8

**Rule Number 8**

* * *

Harry Butt was quite surprised the next day. Ahmed and Joy didn't talk about anything that happened last night, they just acted like the whole thing never happened.

He would've been worried about them and their stupidity and craziness if he actually gave a damn about them.

That's what happens when people tie you up against a tree; you don't like them after that.

The weirdest part though was that almost no one died in the last few days, no one tried to attack them, not a tribute nor a mutt, and they were left alone since the day started.

Weird, but not unwelcomed.

Joy Kil looked around her at the trees and sighed loudly. "I want to eat something so bad," She stated out loud. There were almost no fruits on the trees, and most of the fruits that actually were attached to the trees' branches were all unrecognizable, so they were probably all poisoned.

Except for one distant tree.

"Are those bananas?" Ahmed asked and looked at that said distant banana tree, his eyes wide with amazement.

"Am I dreaming?" Joy Kil asked, blinking hard as if thinking the tree might disappear.

"Oh, it's a miracle!" Ahmed roared excitedly, and Harry Butt couldn't help but think again about how weird it was that no one discovered their highly unprotected hiding place yet.

Joy Kil and Ahmed Adoodie both ran to the tree, and Harry Butt had no choice but stay in his place against the tree, looking at them with narrowed eyes.

"Can you climb?" Ahmed asked Joy as she looked at the tree up and down. It was a very big tree.

Joy Kil shook her head, and Ahmed sighed.

He tried to climb the tree, but barely made it a few meters off the ground and fell. Joy Kil tried after him, but was even worse than him.

They looked at the bananas with hungry eyes.

Joy Kil then dropped her gaze to the ground, disappointed, and suddenly her face lit up.

"Ahmed Adoodie!" She practically shouted, making Ahmed jump in surprise and Harry snicker.

Heehee, I made a doodie…

"What, Joy Kil?" Ahmed Adoodie asked, raising an eyebrow.

Joy Kil pointed at the ground, somewhere next to the tree, and Ahmed followed her gaze. His eyes lit up too, and Harry, who couldn't see the thing they were looking at oh-so-excitedly, squinted his eyes real hard and tried to see what they were looking at.

"I can't believe my eyes," Ahmed murmured and knelt to the ground. He grabbed the thing he and Joy were looking at and held it to the light. Harry could see it now – long, yellow…

"A banana," Ahmed said, looking awed.

"A reachable banana," Joy said, smiling at the reachable banana.

"And it's all ours," Ahmed said, excited.

"So, what do you want to do with it?"

Ahmed smiled at Joy Kil as if she were stupid. Which she was, of course. "Oh, my dear Joy Kil," Ahmed said, shaking his head with a smile. "I think it's pretty obvious what we should do with such an edible, fresh banana."

* * *

"Oh, all cheer and praise the goddess of all the bananas!"

Joy Kil and Ahmed Adoodie both bowed to the banana, which was resting against a big rock, being a banana.

"Oh, The Great Banana, may you bring joy and happy to us, your loyal subjects," Joy and Ahmed said, bowing again and again and again.

Harry Butt really wanted to throw his shoe at them, but decided against it, because he couldn't reach his shoe even if he wanted to and he didn't want to be shoeless at night.

"We should build The Great Banana a throne!" Ahmed announced, looking excited.

Joy Kil raised an eyebrow. "Right, because we always build thrones to bananas."

"That could be our first try at building thrones to bananas."

"An acquired skill."

"Indeed it is."

Joy Kil looked around her, then smiled and ran to a nearby bush. Behind it were several flowers, and she picked them up and walked back to The Great Banana.

"Oh, The Great Banana, please accept this humble present as a show of gratification for being our leader and ruler."

The Great Banana stayed quiet, still being a banana.

"I think she likes it," Ahmed smiled approvingly.

Harry smacked his head against the tree, hoping that it'd cause so much damage he'll pass out and won't have to witness the two tributes' stupidity.

It didn't help.

Crap.

* * *

It turned dark, and Joy Kil and Ahmed Adoodie went to check on The Great Banana after letting it have its beauty sleep.

They froze when they got to it.

"Oh, no," Joy Kil said, sounding sad.

"Our Great Banana looks like a Granny Banana now," Ahmed said gravely.

Joy Kil sighed. "Well, I guess we have no other choice but to eat it now."

Ahmed's eyes widened at her words. "What? Are you crazy?"

'Yes', Harry Butt thought to himself, but being the polite boy that he was, he didn't say it out loud.

Joy Kil frowned at Ahmed. "It's still edible."

"It's wrinkled and disgusting. It's rotten."

"It's not rotten, it's like _honey_!"

"A rotten honey."

"There's no such thing as rotten honey."

"Our Granny Banana just turned into a rotten honey, so yes, there is such a thing."

Joy Kil rolled her eyes. "You're such a baby," She said, then threw away the banana. "Happy now?"

Ahmed looked at her, shocked. "What did you do? You just threw away our leader!"

"It's rotten and old. It can't lead us anymore, not like it used to."

"Age is wisdom, you stupid Joy Kil. This Banana could've been to us what Papa Smurf was to the other Smurfs."

As the two started bickering like an old married couple again, Harry Butt smacked his head again against the tree, this time actually succeeding in what he was trying to do and pass out.

Thank God.

* * *

After making sure everything was okay with a passed out Harry – for some reason the weird boy smacked his head against a tree. He was probably going crazy – Joy Kil took the list out of her pocket.

"_'Worship a banana'_, check!" She said, drawing a V next to the eighth rule and smiling happily.

* * *

**I feel bad for Harry Butt. But am I letting him escape the two crazy teenagers? Absolutely NOT!**

**On another note - sorry that it took so long for me to update this fic. I had no inspiration, and I'm still not really sure about what the other rules would be.**

**But I updated it, so yay!**

**_Guest who calls himself Fanfiction . net-_ From what I understood, this fic is not against the rules. I read them a few times, to make sure no fic I have is against the rules. So... yep, if you can just tell me what rules it breaks.**

**Hope you all have a lovely day, and REVIEW! :D**


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